I am thirty-one, which means I grew up in the 80s when drunk driving was still legal in my home state and seat belts were not yet mandatory. Car seats also, not mandatory, and cars without airbags were pretty much standard.
With that in mind, here are some stories from my mom. I often find it comforting to think of how normal my brothers and I turned out (Exhibit A: We survived to majority) despite how clueless and young my folks obviously were at the time.
(1)
Me: Remember that story about how you and Dad used to bring me to the neighborhood bar as a baby?
Mom: You were such a good baby! We could just put you under the pool table while we played and you wouldn't make a peep.
Me: So I'd just hang out in my car seat?
Mom: Oh my god, we never could have afforded a car seat. You were almost definitely in a laundry basket.
(2)
[While giving B his bath]
Mom: Your little brother used to love the bath as a baby, too. I could just leave him in there for hours.
Me: I remember him running for the bathtub all the time as a kid. Would you just sit with him or something?
Mom: No! He was easy. You could just fill up the tub with four inches of water and leave him there.
Me: What??!!!
Mom: Well, that was this one time. It wasn't a big deal though. Your aunt was throwing a party, and her house was so small and it was the only bathroom. People were in and out of there all the time.
(3)
Mom: God, all your baby pictures look like you were an abused baby. Every time I scheduled a professional photo shoot you went and fell down the basement stairs.
(4)
Dad: We couldn't afford a refrigerator when you were a baby, so we just had a styrofoam cooler with fresh ice every day from the gas station. Then I got my first big paycheck, $300! On the way home though, I saw a sign advertising retriever puppies. So I got our dog instead!
(5)
Mom: You were so social as a kid. Grandma would drive you around in her Rabbit, and you'd just stand in front of the passenger seat and talk and talk.
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i have been having such an emotional day.
ReplyDeletethis literally made me laugh out loud.
thank you for that.
lots.
Wow, it really is amazing. I just think of the "death trap" that was the local bus stop playground and the school one as well. Metal, sharp corners and concrete everywhere. I don't feel so bad about not putting the boppy behind Z when she falls over onto her padded playmat!
ReplyDeletehaha omg this is so my childhood. the bar, yes. laundry basket? never asked but it wouldn't surprise me.
ReplyDeleteIzzie - Yeah, my elementary school had a wooden playscape that was made by the parents. Between the splinters and the badly nailed metal surfaces it was totally a death trap. Our town only built schools on the cheapest land, too, so we had one across the field from a sewage treatment plant, another under high voltage lines, and another on land that was toxic from previous farming practices.
ReplyDeleteBF - My mom was the type to run for the camera when she caught us in dangerous and unexpected situations. My favorite photo is of my brother at maybe 2 or 3 in his footie pajamas, where he'd scaled the cabinets going after the sugar cereal up on the top shelf. He was at least 5 feet off the floor, hanging on by fingers and toes, and Mom ran for the camera.