Overall things have been better than expected during my first week of bar prep. A is incredibly supportive, we spent the week on one of my favorites (contracts), and B is taking the massive change in childcare with aplomb. Pretty sure he still asks for his uncles, his aunt, and the cat more than he asks for me, which I will take as a win in the happy baby category.
The schedule I'm running is brutal, however. Class is from 6 to 10 PM and I signed up to admin, to make sure I get my butt over there every day. I leave the house between 10 AM and noon every day and work straight through - so 10 to 12 hours a day in bar prep. Rough but manageable.
The problem is that B hasn't been sleeping well. From the time he came home from the hospital he was out cold at night, sleeping through hunger and wet diapers, which required us/me to wake at regular intervals in the night to make sure he got fed. (I developed a hair trigger for the sound of him sucking his thumb, the only sign of hunger he showed for his first 16 months.) Even when he popped his first eight teeth, only his naps were affected. We were spoiled.
Now, he's cutting four molars and four canines simultaneously. He's gnawing on his hands and refusing to eat solids during the day, even our old stand-by ice cream, and mostly downing his calories at night. He wakes every hour or two to eat or cuddle, some nights needing to be held for hours. Once upon a time we could make him wait it out, get himself back to sleep and wake hungry in the morning, but we're in a down cycle with his mysterious vomiting. If he coughs a little, we have less than 15 seconds to make it to his room and cuddle him before his reflux is triggered and he hurls. We call it the nuclear option, and there is no negotiating with someone willing to resort to nuclear at the least provocation.
So, I'm tired. Really, really tired. A is taking on the brunt of the midnight wakings but the poor guy has his own work and sleep to worry about... ugh. It also means that I'm not waking with the baby on weekday mornings the way I had planned - getting home at 10:30 or 11 at night after working 12 straight, then waking at 2 hour intervals until 6 or 7 AM, and I'm a draggy mess. Today that meant only a half hour of real time with B before MIL arrived to help out and I had to leave to begin prep. It sucks.
All I can hope is that the last of the teeth are close to through and we'll all be sleeping better by Friday.
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Oh, the brutality of living with these little dictators. Liam just recently went through a no-sleep-at-night cycle, so I'm feeling you. The whole world just gets dark and depressing when you haven't slept. Everything irritates, everything seems doom and gloom. It is SO HARD. I've dropped and broken more coffee mugs than I care to admit, due to the sleepy dropsies. The other day I nearly wiped out on the treadmill because I was too tired to lift my feet all the way up. The whole day is like trudging through a huge mud pit, walking through snow without snowshoes, swimming against the time, etc. etc. metaphors etc., am I right?
ReplyDeleteBut I have faith that it will end, and B will find his feet. Cutting teeth is murder on everyone. If you can just do enough to keep yourself and him alive til this cycle ends - well, you're doing your job. I hope he remembers his good sleep habits soon, so you have lots of time to get into a good schedule and feel fresh as the bar draws closer.
Molars are awful even for totally healthy kids -- I remember over two weeks of fevers and not sleeping. Combined with not eating and vomiting... wow. I hope you're sleeping whenever you can, and not going too crazy with the bar studying.
ReplyDeleteIts early going in the bar prep. Give yourself permission to take a morning off once or twice a week -- go in at 2 maybe. Catch up on some zzzs.
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